T.M.I., Baby...!

It may be tempting...

He/she is encouraging you to talk about your past relationships

and you want to be very open and honest...

But, daters, please beware. There is such a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Last week we explored how to be accepting of someone who may not fit "traditional" criteria for a good mate. And as the two of you are getting to know each other and tap into what makes you the people that you are, the conversations about the past are going to start recurring more often.

I strongly encourage these conversations as a means of bonding with each other and learning about past heartaches, etc. However, try to choose your stories and your phrasing carefully!

You will of course face the immediate concerns of having boring conversations on your dates and/or failing to get a laugh after a series of your famous "priest and a rabbi" jokes.

But the hope is that the ice will eventually break and the two of you will be openly enjoying each other's company and the personal questions will start flowing in.

Here's some do's and don'ts for you:

*Do be honest about your relationship expectations

*Don't discuss stories that will evoke

extreme emotions from you (ie: tears or anger),

this does not make for a very comfortable situation

for either person

*Do talk about your very first relationship,

it makes you less intimidating to hear about

your awkwardness as a young dater

*Don't talk about the number of notches on your belt

(ie: the number of relationships/sexual partners you've had),

this is intimidating even in small numbers...

especially exclude stories about your

last ex!

This is just a preliminary sketch of conversation; feel free to use your own judgement as to what is appropriate based on both of your personalities. But as a warning, jealousy is a dangerous thing and you do not want to evoke such an appalled reaction that you never hear from him/her again..

Dating is meant to be fun so please do not read this and over-analyze everything you say during your next dating excursion. Yet, you do need to be aware that what you say is being catalogued and judged by your date to discern if you are worth seeing again.

More importantly, these conversations about the past allows your date to see a more vulnerable side of you that can deepen your relationship.

It's merely up to you to use good judgement!