Ahhh, Spring Love is in the Air...Right?

Spring is the most vibrant time of year for nature. New life is popping up from the ground and every where else as nature takes this time to renew itself.

We are affected by spring time, as well, daters. Each week my blogs offer guidance through the complexities of the dating world, but I feel spring time may be one of the biggest challenges singles face throughout the entire dating experience...

It is okay to admit that our hormones are racing and that we desire the companionship of another person at this time of year. But we have to be careful:

Do not mistake Lust for LOVE!

You may find yourself laughing in the arms of an arguably attractive acquaintance in these upcoming weeks and wonder to yourself just how the heck you got there. Clearly you have found some sort of attraction between the two of you. Now all you need to figure out is if it's lust or love.

You may not be the type to assume that a casual flirtatious encounter is the beginnings of a romantic relationship, but keep in mind that it could be.

Statistically speaking, relationships that begin in a whirlwind of passion and intimacy usually end with just as dramatically and suddenly as they started. This is the dating world's version of the Big Bang Theory, no pun intended.

Now of course movies and romantic novels leave room to believe that love at first sight and whirlwinds of instant passion can truly be the start of happily ever after. Unfortunately, daters, building an honest, long-lasing relationship with someone takes a significant amount of foundation building from the very beginning. It can be done.

But just remember if you seem to constantly be hugging someone who you couldn't stand in December, there is a great chance that you have fallen victim to Spring.

I can admit to having once believed in finding myself in a romantic situation with a new acquaintance where we instantly fell in love and wound up making out on a beach...kind of like in that picture below...

We all just need to be careful this Spring while still keeping our hearts open and ready for love.

Until Next Time, Live and Love!

From Trashy to Classy on Date Night

Last week's blog was all about sustaining a meaningful relationship whether near or far. This one is for the couples who are near.

There is an ancient dating dress-code that parents always tell their daughters:

* cover everything curvy

* but wear something nice

* but don't look too nice (you don't wanna look like a hussy, do you?!)

Alas, social dress-codes are ever-changing, as they are wont to do. Butwithin the dating world, it is of utmost importance to have some concept of the code.

Presentability is the key word.

Clearly, when you are either first getting to know someone or are in a preliminary relationship that involves a lot of public excursions you want to look attractive to your date. Women have the finest line to tread as far as this is concerned; they have to decide:
Where does attractive end and trashy begin?
The picture at the right shows a pretty-faced young woman in a cute pink outfit with maybe just...way too much leg showing, not to mention, super high look-at-me shoes on.

Now, I am a proud supporter of the "If You Got It, Flaunt It" movement, but, LADIES, there is a time and a place for every fly outfit. And your fifth date out with Mr. Wonderful may not be the place to show quite so much skin.

As Mama would say, You Don't Wanna Give the Boy the Wrong Idea...!

Certainly if you are pursuing a long-lasting relationship with someone, you want him/her to view you in the best possible light right up until he/she is emotionally invested in you enough that your strange habits won't freak them out. That being said, show outfit discretion until that given time.

Disney Channel girls always seem to find a way to look sexy without revealing anything (well, at least until they hit 16 and turn into Britney Spears, anyway....but I digress.) Take young Hilary Duff as your date night example. She has her hair off her face so you can see how nice her features are and she managed to show her shape with a long slinky shirt underneath a much more modest, but fashionable blazer.

My point is that you can look sexy and attractive without bringing out the "girls." But if you really insist on showing some boobage, balance out the look by covering up your arms and legs. You'll look sexy yet not too overtly sexual.

And for the guys who haven't quite found the fashion middle-ground between baseball game attire and wedding attire, keep it simple. For you guys hair is of the greatest importance. ALL of your hair counts when looking presentable: on your head, on your arms, and on your face. Make sure its groomed nicely and the clothes on your back will automatically look better. That being said, you won't have to dress up very much days to impress the ladies.

These days, casual chic for men is very popular. So don't feel funny about mixing a t-shirt with a blazer or a suit with sneakers. But please do ensure the said t-shirt or sneakers have no holes/stains!

Take a fashion note from the model at the right. Mixing dress clothes with sneakers or more casual clothes with shoes creates a delightful fashion contrast for men. Try it out Friday night and see what she says; you may be pleasantly surprised what a good trip to the barber and some style mix-and-matching can do.

Work what your mama gave ya', just remember, if you want your audience to stick around for awhile, you need to make yourself look PRESENTABLE to general audiences.

Until next time...Live and Love!

Long Distance Realtionships That Work

Internet dating has not only become a very profitable business as of late, but it has also emerged as a very reasonable means of sparking a meaningful relationship for many people.

The more lucrative of these online dating businesses ensure client safety and confidentiallity up to the point when you feel comfortable furthering your online relationship and introducing it to the real world.

One of the biggest problems these online daters encounter is meeting someone wonderful who lives a gazillion miles away! And even if you have never been involved in an online long-distance relationship, you may recall that little cutie from summer camp when you were 10 whose family may as well have lived on the moon.

At a first glance, these relationships seem hopelessly daunting. The question on everyone's minds is "How can passion be sustained when the two people are so far away from each other?"

Most of my blogs discuss how to interact with someone that you met face to face and/or have the ability to see frequently. Long distance relationships are a completely different breed of dating with its own set of dillemas.

One positive side to such a long distance relationship is that you can rest assured that the person you are pursuing the relationship with is not solely concerned with his/her "physical needs."

Your personality is supporting the relationship and that is a great feeling!

In "traditional" relationships, the looming concern for communication is nulled by the preoccupation of arranging opportunities to see each other. During such encounters, communication is inevitably achieved in one form or another. But when the two of you are only sharing intimacies over the phone or in a private chat, the specific need for communication is much more obvious.

This puts a lot responsibility on each individual to at the very least send a cute email from work daily just to say "hi" and let the other person know that he/she is in your thoughts. What I have also found to be useful is sending a daily photo via email so that the other person feels connected to your daily routine.

The most important thing to remember is that in long distance relationships (just like any other), if you go into it with a negative attitude, those are the type of results you will get. Think positively about it and you will find ways to make it work for YOU.

I will be here with more long-distance help....Until then, Live and Love!

T.M.I., Baby...!

It may be tempting...

He/she is encouraging you to talk about your past relationships

and you want to be very open and honest...

But, daters, please beware. There is such a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Last week we explored how to be accepting of someone who may not fit "traditional" criteria for a good mate. And as the two of you are getting to know each other and tap into what makes you the people that you are, the conversations about the past are going to start recurring more often.

I strongly encourage these conversations as a means of bonding with each other and learning about past heartaches, etc. However, try to choose your stories and your phrasing carefully!

You will of course face the immediate concerns of having boring conversations on your dates and/or failing to get a laugh after a series of your famous "priest and a rabbi" jokes.

But the hope is that the ice will eventually break and the two of you will be openly enjoying each other's company and the personal questions will start flowing in.

Here's some do's and don'ts for you:

*Do be honest about your relationship expectations

*Don't discuss stories that will evoke

extreme emotions from you (ie: tears or anger),

this does not make for a very comfortable situation

for either person

*Do talk about your very first relationship,

it makes you less intimidating to hear about

your awkwardness as a young dater

*Don't talk about the number of notches on your belt

(ie: the number of relationships/sexual partners you've had),

this is intimidating even in small numbers...

especially exclude stories about your

last ex!

This is just a preliminary sketch of conversation; feel free to use your own judgement as to what is appropriate based on both of your personalities. But as a warning, jealousy is a dangerous thing and you do not want to evoke such an appalled reaction that you never hear from him/her again..

Dating is meant to be fun so please do not read this and over-analyze everything you say during your next dating excursion. Yet, you do need to be aware that what you say is being catalogued and judged by your date to discern if you are worth seeing again.

More importantly, these conversations about the past allows your date to see a more vulnerable side of you that can deepen your relationship.

It's merely up to you to use good judgement!